I have spoken on this topic before (see Epic failures on many fronts post last February). I feel that I have a hard time connecting with others. I do not have close friends. I very definitely do not have close girl friends. Why? I have never been really sure of that answer but it has haunted me for quite some time.
Earlier this year I saw a quote about not making less of yourself and I had it on my quote of the day for awhile. Then I read the post and it was like reading something I could have written (except she said it so much better). I make less of myself in order to make others feel better about themselves. I redirect to you and make sure you are center stage. I play dumb by asking questions that I may know the answer to. If I really value your input then I take it to a whole new level. I work to become your helper. I defer and scrape and gravel to just be included so I can learn from you. In doing this I leave nothing of myself with you. Most descriptions I have heard are, I am sweet, nice, kind. Those are not bad words by a long shot and a good place to start but I am more than that. By being the wall flower, shrinking, hiding, I do the other person no good and I come away feeling less of myself and disconnected.
I can be loud.