May 17, 2012

It is time.......

The proverbial spring cleaning. (See agility based info below)

I spent some time exploring the The Roots of She site today and one of the posts spoke to me so I am sharing here in case you also could use a little spring cleaning. Click here to find part one and the the full post. Below is the shortened version and what I took away from it. Thank you Jenn for sharing and putting this out there for me to find.

Ways to Begin the Work of Letting Go

  1. Commit to it. Declare that you are ready to start doing the work now, today, this moment.
  2. Write a letter to the person/fear/thought/feeling that you are letting go.
  3. Share how you are feeling. If it’s an old hurt or frustration you’re letting go of, talking to the other party involved can be incredibly healing (for both sides.) One important thing to remember with this: take care with your language. The intention for this is to let it go, not stir things up. Last week, I talked with someone I used to be good friends with and I know I fumbled at times, but in the end, it turned out well.
  4. Find your Power Symbol. Right now, I’m carrying around a picture of the Velveteen Rabbit to remind myself that I’m always and already real and whole. It’s something small and fun and silly, looking at it makes me smile.
  5. Practice stillness or meditate. Know that you are enough.
  6. Picture whatever it is you’re letting go of and breathe the mantra let go or release.
  7. Dig into the reasons why you’re holding onto things. Think about what holding onto those things gives you or what it doesn’t give you.
  8. Journal and free write using the prompt: Why am I holding on to this? The answers you come up with might be quiet and easy. For example, my fear of loved ones dying? It’s because my grandmother almost died last summer. (Not everything is going to be earth-shattering and profound, sometimes the Truths inside of you will be simple.)
  9. If you’re releasing a fear, thank it for staying with you as long as it did. Fear is a means of self-protection, letting it go is an act of bravery. Acknowledge it, thank it for staying to protect you, and let it know that you are safe, secure and ready to move forward without it.
  10. Daydream about all of the amazing things you want to bring into your life.
  11. Create a collage or vision board filled with the things you’re letting go of on one side and the word “goodbye” on the other.
  12. Be gentle with yourself and celebrate every single moment of letting go. You are revolutionizing your life.
  13. Say the words out loud to the things you put on your list: say goodbye, good riddance, peace outtie, catch you on the flip, au revoir, ciao, don’t let the door get you on the way out.
  14. If you’re ready to let go of physical items — books, clothes, furniture, CDs, DVDs, whatever — start two piles: One for trash and one for donations. Be ruthless and gleeful about what goes where.
  15. Hold a releasing ceremony. Write down all of the things that you are ready to let go of and the things that you’d like to let go of. Then burn those pages, toss them into a fire or just light them up. It’s a symbolic act, and there is so much power to be found in symbols.
  16. Take some space from the situation – unfollow or unfriend people, delete phone numbers if you need to. Give yourself some emotional space so you can begin to heal.
  17. Cry. Mourn the loss. Let your feelings come out, don’t stifle, bury, suppress or hide them. Tears are cathartic and allow physical and emotional release of what’s inside of you.
  18. Know that it is 100% ok to release whatever it is that you’re holding on to. Need a permission slip? We’ve got one big-ass permission slip right here waiting for you.

For me it brought to mind Fear. I live with fear daily. Not just mine but my husband's also. He is very fear driven and allows it to control his life daily. It is a constant struggle for me not to fall into his patterns. I have found that in the last year I am ready to move forward from fear. I no longer need it. Now don't go reading into that. I love my husband and his journey is his own. I hope that he will feel my changes and it will help him to make choices based on what he wants/needs vs. fear but as much as we are together, we still have our own paths to take.

Back to my fear. I refer to my fear on course. My fear, that what I ask of Surf will not be done so I babysit every obstacle, I wait making sure it is done before moving on. Therefore, I handle one obstacle at a time and that does not allow me to think three moves ahead. It is holding us back. It is time to let it go.

I want to run a course feeling of the fear. I want to be bold.....I want to be confident..... I want to front cross and sprint and feel excitement and joy in my heart........
I want to be connected with Surf. I want to see him at squirrel speed with a smile on his face and flowing along with me.  I want to trust.......him and me.

It is time.....

Time to begin the work of letting go. Time to clean house. Time to realize that the fear was a protection. Protection from what other people thought of me. I try so hard to please every one. You all must like me. I must be accepted. If I do well in the ring, then I will be accepted by other agility people. They will like me. Talk to me. Share with me. Silly silly little girl inside. How can a person so confident be so insecure also? I don't know but it is time she move on. Set the bags aside. Put down the luggage. Stop comparing herself to others. Time to let go.

I leave you with this parting quote from Mother Theresa. I think I will carry this with me for a while. I hope it will help the fear move on. Thank you fear you have done your job it is now time to go. Have a nice trip, don't let the door hit you on the way out..........

It was never between you and them.....

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered; forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Be kind anyway.
What you spend years creating others could destroy overnight: Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it may never be enough: Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God: it was never between you and them anyway.


  1. I needed that post. Thanks Kelly.

  2. Glad I could return the favor!

  3. Yes, doesn't fear hold us back. After my dog Fin was injured, I was scared she would break again. She was afraid the jumps would hurt her. It was really hard. She'd go around stuff so I started babysitting everything. The first thing I'd do when I would walk a course is I would look for the doubles and triples knowing that I would have to make sure to babysit those jumps. At some point last fall I decided that I couldn't do that anymore. I'm not fit enough to always babysit and the babysitting would put me behind. I needed to run aggressivly and with confidence, if Fin choose to go around something, that was something to work on, but SHE needed to do her job and I needed to stop worrying about her. Since that decision, we are having so much fun! Yes, I still feel a little worried going out to a course, but I push that down and understand that I am going to go out there and do my best, if Fin goes around a jump, then she does. What the result is, she is taking those jumps! yeah! Now if I could just get her outta those darn off course tunnels! :)

  4. Thanks Vici for sharing! I have made progress but have so much further to go. I think just being able to put the fear into words on the page and fully acknowledge it. To turn and go face to face, nose to nose, toe to toe with it, not just peak over my shoulder at it has helped. My handling and communication with Surf continues to need work but my confidence is growing! Now if I can just keep running and not stop to fix things, I need to let them go right then and fix them later in training. Lol always something...