May 24, 2012

Everyone needs a little help from their friends.....

Sublime
Sublime
Truly Utterly SUBLIME

My word for the week.
Print is just not doing it justice.
I like the way it feels in my mouth.
I like the way it sounds.

Is it really just sub=below, less than, with limes!?!? Did I spell it wrong? Limes that are less than themselves?

That can't be right. The word that rolls around in my mouth elicits a warm rush of feeling with pictures of warm white sand, gentle breezes, palm trees swaying, water lapping, eye dazzling light from a sun that warms you to your soul. (Oh and of course dogs running on that beach ;-)

sub·lime[suh-blahym] Show IPA adjective, noun, verb, sub·limed, sub·lim·ing.

adjective
1. elevated or lofty in thought, language, etc.: Paradise Lost is sublime poetry.
2. impressing the mind with a sense of grandeur or power; inspiring awe, veneration, etc.: Switzerland has sublime scenery. (anywhere tropical is sublime)
3. supreme or outstanding: a sublime dinner.
4. complete; absolute; utter: sublime stupidity.
5. Archaic .
a. of lofty bearing.

I went for a Hand & Stone massage the other day.......................

AHHHHHH so so SUBLIME

I have not been feeling well. It has been about two weeks now. Not fully sick but not right either. I have rashes popping up in odd places, headaches twice a day, stomach is off so not eating much, I think my hair is falling out. My neck and jaw feel like they have turned to stone.

I have strayed into a 'perfect' storm of circumstances that have led to a semi-deranged, stressed out, ball of illnesses that just won't GO AWAY person. But she is gone now. She was excised out by a guy named Ryan with hands the size of tennis rackets, full of muscles and hot, hot, river stones......(deep filling to my toes sigh...............) for 80 whole minutes.

just........SUBLIME.........


Mostly better now. I found the culprit of the rash. Wheat again. Crystal light stopped making the flavors that I like to drink in those little go packets (I drink 3-6 20oz bottles of water a day) so I just changed flavors. No big deal right. Wrong. ALWAYS ALWAYS read the label Kelly. Modified corn starch is tabu. Not sure what they modified it with but body said NO. Within two days of stopping rash all gone. Headaches gone. Jaw, still working on that. I think I am clenching but haven't gotten rid of the stress at work yet. Soon, only three weeks to go till school is out! ( I hate the crazy gene) 

I keep having this song run through my head. Especially after trying to excise the ghosts with Cafe Patron last weekend. (Yum in milk over ice, like drinking iced coffee with a kick!) but it is good to have friends to turn to when help is needed or just to drink with and vent to!




May 17, 2012

It is time.......

The proverbial spring cleaning. (See agility based info below)

I spent some time exploring the The Roots of She site today and one of the posts spoke to me so I am sharing here in case you also could use a little spring cleaning. Click here to find part one and the the full post. Below is the shortened version and what I took away from it. Thank you Jenn for sharing and putting this out there for me to find.


Ways to Begin the Work of Letting Go


  1. Commit to it. Declare that you are ready to start doing the work now, today, this moment.
  2. Write a letter to the person/fear/thought/feeling that you are letting go.
  3. Share how you are feeling. If it’s an old hurt or frustration you’re letting go of, talking to the other party involved can be incredibly healing (for both sides.) One important thing to remember with this: take care with your language. The intention for this is to let it go, not stir things up. Last week, I talked with someone I used to be good friends with and I know I fumbled at times, but in the end, it turned out well.
  4. Find your Power Symbol. Right now, I’m carrying around a picture of the Velveteen Rabbit to remind myself that I’m always and already real and whole. It’s something small and fun and silly, looking at it makes me smile.
  5. Practice stillness or meditate. Know that you are enough.
  6. Picture whatever it is you’re letting go of and breathe the mantra let go or release.
  7. Dig into the reasons why you’re holding onto things. Think about what holding onto those things gives you or what it doesn’t give you.
  8. Journal and free write using the prompt: Why am I holding on to this? The answers you come up with might be quiet and easy. For example, my fear of loved ones dying? It’s because my grandmother almost died last summer. (Not everything is going to be earth-shattering and profound, sometimes the Truths inside of you will be simple.)
  9. If you’re releasing a fear, thank it for staying with you as long as it did. Fear is a means of self-protection, letting it go is an act of bravery. Acknowledge it, thank it for staying to protect you, and let it know that you are safe, secure and ready to move forward without it.
  10. Daydream about all of the amazing things you want to bring into your life.
  11. Create a collage or vision board filled with the things you’re letting go of on one side and the word “goodbye” on the other.
  12. Be gentle with yourself and celebrate every single moment of letting go. You are revolutionizing your life.
  13. Say the words out loud to the things you put on your list: say goodbye, good riddance, peace outtie, catch you on the flip, au revoir, ciao, don’t let the door get you on the way out.
  14. If you’re ready to let go of physical items — books, clothes, furniture, CDs, DVDs, whatever — start two piles: One for trash and one for donations. Be ruthless and gleeful about what goes where.
  15. Hold a releasing ceremony. Write down all of the things that you are ready to let go of and the things that you’d like to let go of. Then burn those pages, toss them into a fire or just light them up. It’s a symbolic act, and there is so much power to be found in symbols.
  16. Take some space from the situation – unfollow or unfriend people, delete phone numbers if you need to. Give yourself some emotional space so you can begin to heal.
  17. Cry. Mourn the loss. Let your feelings come out, don’t stifle, bury, suppress or hide them. Tears are cathartic and allow physical and emotional release of what’s inside of you.
  18. Know that it is 100% ok to release whatever it is that you’re holding on to. Need a permission slip? We’ve got one big-ass permission slip right here waiting for you.

For me it brought to mind Fear. I live with fear daily. Not just mine but my husband's also. He is very fear driven and allows it to control his life daily. It is a constant struggle for me not to fall into his patterns. I have found that in the last year I am ready to move forward from fear. I no longer need it. Now don't go reading into that. I love my husband and his journey is his own. I hope that he will feel my changes and it will help him to make choices based on what he wants/needs vs. fear but as much as we are together, we still have our own paths to take.

Back to my fear. I refer to my fear on course. My fear, that what I ask of Surf will not be done so I babysit every obstacle, I wait making sure it is done before moving on. Therefore, I handle one obstacle at a time and that does not allow me to think three moves ahead. It is holding us back. It is time to let it go.

I want to run a course feeling free.....free of the fear. I want to be bold.....I want to be confident..... I want to front cross and sprint and feel excitement and joy in my heart........
I want to be connected with Surf. I want to see him at squirrel speed with a smile on his face and flowing along with me.  I want to trust.......him and me.

It is time.....

Time to begin the work of letting go. Time to clean house. Time to realize that the fear was a protection. Protection from what other people thought of me. I try so hard to please every one. You all must like me. I must be accepted. If I do well in the ring, then I will be accepted by other agility people. They will like me. Talk to me. Share with me. Silly silly little girl inside. How can a person so confident be so insecure also? I don't know but it is time she move on. Set the bags aside. Put down the luggage. Stop comparing herself to others. Time to let go.

I leave you with this parting quote from Mother Theresa. I think I will carry this with me for a while. I hope it will help the fear move on. Thank you fear you have done your job it is now time to go. Have a nice trip, don't let the door hit you on the way out..........

It was never between you and them.....

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered; forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Be kind anyway.
What you spend years creating others could destroy overnight: Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it may never be enough: Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God: it was never between you and them anyway.


May 15, 2012

Running wide open......

Unfortunately, not in agility. Not this month any way. Way to many other things scheduled for this month and the one trial I was going to try and slip in I got closed out of.

So for the first weekend of the month, my daughter and I attended a Girl Scout weekend at Rocking Horse Ranch in NY. Wow, what an amazing place! We had such a fabulous time. The weather was perfect, the kids and moms (there was 500 moms and GS on sat) were great, the staff is just awesome, and the activities did not stop! I think it took me three days to be able to walk again and two to catch up on sleep!
Now, I grew up on a horse farm. I have ridden since I was about 8 years old. Competed till I was 17 in many different venues and in Dressage off and on into my thirties. Still, it has been a while and after getting in three one hour trail rides and then immediately driving for 2 hours home my muscles were not impressed!

This is Bandit. I liked all the horses I rode but I think he was my favorite. He was the fastest yet had a nice smooth canter.

The bungee jump was a close second to the horse back riding! I had a blast doing flips! What a great cardio work out. I need one of these in the back yard!


I did not conquer the rock wall but my daughter Rayce sure did! She was so proud that she was able to ring the bell at the top.



There was so much more. Indoor pool and slide, outdoor pool, indoor bouncy houses, bon fires, dancing, a super moon (I will have to add that one later) game shows, archery and shooting range, peddle boats, kayaks, and a mini zoo. There were more activities that we just could not fit in....

This past weekend I got to spend with my boys :-) My husband and my 6 y/o son go BMX bike racing together on the weekends while Rayce and I play at agility. This past weekend was a big three day racing event and RJ did great! He didn't qualify for the main on Friday but that must have lit a fire in him because he came back to win the State qualifier on Sat, then gave me a great Mother's day by winning the Redline Cup race on Sunday! He is only in the 6 y/o novice group but he did awesome! So proud of him!

He is the one in the middle #71.
Look out coming through!! Now that is a man on a mission! This is the Sunday race. Thanks to Rich Megill for the great picture!
Also Rich was gracious enough to give me a photography lesson on Friday and I was finally able to learn how to get off of 'auto' settings!! THEN he let me borrow his really BIG and fancy telephoto lens to take great pictures with. It was so heavy I had to use the mono pod with it but what fun fun fun! Again I will have to add those at a later date, as I have not had time to even look at them yet.

Wow what a busy month already and it is only half over. Next weekend is more BMX and a birthday party and hopefully get some of my house clean! Then we are off camping for Memorial Day weekend.

Oh, and I have moved on to the next book in my piano lessons. They are getting harder. I am now finally attempting to have my two hands doing something different at the same time! Not easy reading two lines of music at the same time AND remember what the all the notes are...but it sure is fun when it starts to sound like something! My teacher always does a piece of popular music over the summer and gets rid of our books, so I have been informed. I have set the lofty goal of trying to learn a song by Adele. I'll keep you posted on how that goes!

And of course there is agility training, training, training. I'm loving how our practice is coming along. He is so much more focused during training than he is during trials so I am finally able to work on my mediocre handling skills. I feel like we are finally starting to have that 'break through' and I am working hard at being able to better analyze a course with actual rationals for my handling choices vs. it feels right. There has also been alot of discussion lately on the agility papillon email list about focus in paps. It seems the consensus is that they are late bloomers. They don't start to 'turn on' and get great focus until 2.5- 3 years old. It is a theory anyway. One that gives me hope that we will be able to move the brilliance I see in practice to the agility field!

Have a blessed week all!

May 7, 2012

Celebration of a Birthday & a life........

I wanted to write about my fabulous weekend with the Girl Scouts. I wanted to write about my amazing lesson. I wanted to share pictures of me doing flips on the bungee jump......

But instead I need to dedicate this space to the birthday of an amazing man, friend, father, brother, son, race car driver.... I was so blessed to have known you, to have learned from you, to have basked in your joy for life, to join in your family, and have been called your friend. Happy 40th big guy! We all still miss you everyday and think of you always.

James Lowell Willis

JAMES LOWELL WILLIS
FORMERLY OF RED BANK
Jim Willis, died suddenly of an unknown cause on Thursday, May 6, 2010. Jim was born on May 7, 1972 in Red Bank, NJ. He grew up in Red Bank and Little Silver, NJ surrounded by extended family. He loved going to the beach, playing football and pulling pranks with his friends.